drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
