well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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