According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
