I just found puke in my bra..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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