Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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