ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
