we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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