come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize