I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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