Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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