Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
