He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
