My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
