i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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