i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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