She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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