just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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