May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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