so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
