babies were throwing up all over the place
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
smell my finger.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
