So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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