Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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