Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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