I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
