I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
