When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
