I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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