I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
