all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
