Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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