i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
