so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
