my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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