porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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