I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
