Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
