I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
