oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
