Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
