I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
