I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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