Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
