Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
