Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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