They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
