I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
40s are totally the cure
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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