I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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