you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
