you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?