I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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