Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
