Don't make out with my wife yet
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
