the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize