Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
