i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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