We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
