porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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