It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
