The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
