Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
